R.I.P. Hamster!

Remember the four kittens I mentioned in one of my previous posts? Two went missing. One of them found dead, bitten by dogs, the other one was taken in by others, and the other two, stayed with me. All of them suffered from something called cat flu. Of the two that stay with me, one recovered and today, one died.

I don't know its cause of death. The flu, or it's injury? The little one (my sister named Hamster due to it's size) has an injury to its upper spine. Its head tilts a little more to the right. This injury has been there for quite a while and yet little Hamster survived until last night.

I know what it sounds like. I'm pretty sad with little Hamster's death because I'm the one who first saw it laying there, dead. The only kitten left, even played with little Hamster, not knowing its sister is dead.

For others, I don't know. But for me, it made me think about life. Witnessing many death makes me appreciate life of others. With my 'weakness', I don't think I'll be a good doctor because for me, witnessing death is a very painful experience. I can't see any life coming to an end, just like I can't see others in pain. Weak right?

Hmm.. What's next after death I wonder. In one way, I should be glad that little Hamster is no longer sick or in pain. So, is death a good thing? Sometimes you can't help but think death is actually a 'release' from sufferings. Do you believe in God and the saying "God loves you and one way He shows it, is by ending your suffering"? That makes death a 'gift'.

To be quite frank, I don't have much religion faith. That'd be why for me, death of others is a negative thing. To be more specific, a tragedy. Despite of that weakness, I think sometimes I'm a furious guy. Bad people dies prompt me to think "Serves him/her right!". Why? Is there any difference in lives' value? I don't know..

It made me wonder, what kind of person I am? I want to know but.. I'd better not think too much because I am afraid I'll be admitted into an asylum for getting sot for thinking too much.