ElLo

Okay.. This happened days ago. No.. I should say weeks ago. A friend and I chatted on MSN, and she asked me something. I said I'll write a blog about it. This.. Is the post.

Actually, how hard is it to say 'I love you'? In the past, I said it to three different girls. My first and second ex-girlfriend. The third one.. She can't be considered a 'girlfriend'. Nevertheless, I do love her or else, I wouldn't have told her that.

It's easy right? Just like a 'Hi' maybe? Even if a 'Hi' is easy to say, it isn't for some. Well.. My first ex-girlfriend. We started our relationship through SMS. I mean I expressed to her by SMS. The second one, by phone call. Obviously, the second one is harder for me.

The third one, again, by SMS. The first one, lasted for 80 days. Short huh? The second one, lasted for two years.. The third, probably 100 days. I can't remember well. Conclusion? SMS ignited relationship doesn't last long I guess. The phone call ignited one lasted longer.

Now, I've got myself a fourth. Well, this one is on my side. I mean so far, I'm the one liking her and not her. I haven't tell her yet, how I felt. I want to tell her by phone call. Yup. I want this one to last till the end. Who doesn't? I'm sure when you're looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend, you're looking for one that'll be your husband/wife isn't it?

Like I said, it's not easy to say that-three-words. What's more by phone call. It gives you the jigs if you know what I mean. I know.. That's pretty pathetic.

She doesn't talk much. Obviously, that makes thing harder. I kinda hope that I'll get drunk one day, and then end up being at her doorstep, knock the door, she opened it, there, I tell her 'I love you', she brought me in, I fell asleep, wake up the next day, says 'Sorry about last night, and thanks for bringing me in', leave her wondering 'Does he really mean it?', unable to keep wondering and come to me, asks me about what I said when I was drunk and then I tell her 'Ya. I mean every words I said that night'. Easy right? Like my friend always say, I think too much.

I think that's as far as it goes. I have to put an end to it right there. No more imagination. I'll courage up and tell her that-three-words at the right time. If it brings my relationship with her one step further, of course it's good! Otherwise, if she rejects me, I'll have to admit defeat. I mean to keep on tagging along will only annoy her. What's the point? So that she and I can't even be friends? If she's happy being someone else's girlfriend, I'll let her be. 'Cos I want her to be happy. As a boyfriend, or friend.