See Through

Again, in the morning.. I mean the blog. I'm blogging in the morning again. A sign, telling you that I'm being lazy again. Nice eh?

I was supposed to include this in my last post but it's kinda late then and if I were to include this, the post will get too long to be enjoyed reading.

So.. Back to 12th Sept. I met my ex's cousin. Nearly didn't recognise it's her.. Her hair, skin and so on.. Almost as if she's another girl. And so do I. That's what she said. We had a good one hour (almost) talk. There, in a restaurant. The owner must've been pissed for we've been 'conquering' his table for that long. But we did get some drinks. That's RM 8.00 for an hour. Not a bad business for him really..

There's always this kinda thing when I talk with people. I call it 'revelation'. Why is that? Because I realise and see through things better after I did. Of course, that's only for related matters. As for my ex's cousin, she made me realise that I'm still ok. People still trust me. In this case, about lies made about me.

Seriously. It troubles me a lot. When people became distanced from me, I get to think of it this way "It doesn't matter what they believe in. Ya.. Do I care? Nope I don't".

Eventually, I felt as if everyone don't trust me anymore. People who used to be close or not so close, end up misunderstanding me. Sucks right? Sure it is.

What did I see after that one hour talk? I 'see' what she said. She said if you've decided, then let it be. I agree with that. That's what I tell myself to prevent myself from getting too much dilemma. Also, she asked "Why don't you find yourself a girlfriend?". I said "I'm looking for a long term relationship. If I don't think the girl's worth it or she's not the one or I don't want to hold her back, I won't go for her".

That said, I'm coming close to a decision. Just need some more work and thinking. Not easy though. Still dilemma-ous here. Too lazy now though. Too lazy to think and do anything because I'm sick. Suffering from flu.