Do you know the feeling? The feeling you're so sure of what you want but what you want seems to be anything but within your reach? It seems like the harder I try, the closer I am to losing. Is this a retribution? I mean both of my relationship cases (previous and now) seems to mirror each other.
I honestly don't know what I should do to further my effort. The will to go on is still there but the chance to win seems to be diminishing as every seconds tick by. Have I lost despite of unwilling to give up? It's important to say that even if I've really lost, I'll not give up to win back what I've lost. Stubborn? Stupid? Loyal? Having the will harder than steel? Whatever you call it, it's what it is and that's how I'm being a person I am.
You see, it's not like I refuse give up all the time. There's countless person I gave up. My 'jie' and the reason she deleted and blocked me on Facebook for instance, I gave her up. My ex? Been quite a while I did. My 'kor', cousin's girlfriend (who've totally changed), my friend who refused to listen to my side of a story and the list goes on deeper down.
Reasons I gave up? Because they're not worth it. Not worth my patience. So why, when it comes to 'her', I'll refuse to give up, even if I've lost and end up having to fight my way up from square one or worse, lost 'her' for good? It's because I love 'her' and 'she's' more than worth it. Worth the pain, worth waiting and worth loving.
Nice talk huh? Today has been a very bad day. How bad? Not the worst but bad enough to trigger a rampage. You don't need me to explain to you, what's rampage right?
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